Both my parents loved to celebrate and entertain. And both of them loved traditions. My dad, a deeply religious man, had ideas on when to break out which types of Christmas music, secular verses sacred, so as to emphasize the message and celebration of Jesus's birth. My mom was all about finding little ways to make ordinary days special and special days extraordinary. Today also, marks the first day for students at the middle school where she worked, and she would have brought homemade cinnamon rolls for the office staff to enjoy on this hectic morning.
Dad died 23 days before Tee turned one. Knowing that his death was approaching, he had spent much of that year purchasing books and toys for her. Some she is still a little too young to appreciate. Mom brought her those books, plus a bookcase for her first birthday. It was a great way to remember my dad that day, without being to sad. My mom made all three of her birthday cakes. It was a task she cherished. In fact, we had already discussed Sweet Potato's cake, banana to match the monkey theme, and her birthday was over two months away. So much of how we are celebrating Sweet Potato's birthday is based on that conversation the weekend before she died. But Mom won't be here.
She isn't going to call at the exact moment Sweet Potato was born. She isn't going to arrive with some ridiculous present that we have no idea where to put. She isn't going to bake and decorate the perfect cake. Or sing extra birthday songs. I know that I can take charge of most of these things (except for the cake, thankfully I have a good friend with those talents), but I want my mom to be here to do them. I had made peace with the fact that my dad would not be physically present to mark any milestones with my girls, but I never planned that my mom would not be here.
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