Anyway, the last time I was sick like this was five years ago. Before kids. And while my older daughter has thrown-up before, this was the first time for this nasty little virus. And Baby Sweet Potato, she's not even a year, so clearly this was another first.
As odd as it sounds, being sick turned out to be a great distraction. When you feel that sick, and are surrounded by people who are equally sick (only have no idea or desire to try to make it to a bowl or bucket), you have very little time to think about anything else. It wasn't until last night, that it occurred to me how weird it was that my mom hadn't checked in on me and the girls several times. Not that she would have driven the four hours to take care of us. But she would have called multiple times, and I could have called her when I was trying to figure out what to do about a puking infant. And she would have just felt generally sorry for me in the way that only a mom can.
So I had a good cry, but afterwords, I realized that this was just one of many things I am going to navigate by myself now. And I did a pretty good job, everyone seems to be on the mend, and the house is actually pretty clean (although, I might owe that piece to my husband). But, my mom had set an example over and over of picking herself up in less than perfect circumstances, of dealing with adversity and moving on.
Having the stomach flu might not seem like much adversity, but dealing with the death of both parents certainly is. So many people have told me they can't believe how strong I have been, that it is o-kay if I fall apart. There are days that it feels like a good option, but by her own example I know that is not the path my mom would take, and therefore it can't be an option for me. It may seem small, but after this weekend I know that I'll be able to hold it together, exactly the way she would.
